Beyond Animal Crossing's New Horizons

Nintendo has responded to Animal Crossing's enormous success by... doing nothing. With no official updates, here are our dream ideas.

Photoshopped screencap of Animal Crossing. Isabelle says, "Last night I doomscrolled on my phone for four hours! Silly me!"

It wouldn't be over the top to say that Animal Crossing: New Horizons was a lifeline for many people in 2020. Launching on March 20—the first week of Victoria's OG lockdown—it quickly outsold all previous releases of Animal Crossing combined. It's now the second-highest selling first party Nintendo Switch game behind Mario Kart 8.

An old tweet by me. "The animal crossing fashion experience wasn't complete without a MIFF vollie shirt."

Originally* slated to launch in 2019, delaying its release placed it perfectly for millions of people who suddenly found themselves with any combination of:

  • lots of free time
  • inability or unwillingness to go outside
  • a low-stress game to play online with others
  • an artistic outlet
  • a desperate emotional need for cartoon animal friends
An old tweet by me. "Animal Crossing permits me to undertake my favourite illegal social activities: music gigs, non-essential shopping, parties, and... fishing"

*A version of what would eventually become New Horizons began development in 2012. The project was shelved after the Wii U was a financial disaster, with further delays when many of the staff were moved to work on multiplayer action series Splatoon.

As an aside, I'm sorry for cursing everyone 18 months before all this happened:

New Horizons' dramatic rise has created an enormous fan base with a deep emotional connection to the game. But to the dismay of casual and hardcore fans alike, ACNH's sales success hasn't translated into meaningful updates, events or even new furniture. I personally haven't played since Valentine's Day (which was both an in-game event, and a weekend everyone in VIC was made to stay home).

Last week Nintendo finally confirmed the game would get a refresh "later this year":

So without writing one of those unhinged hostage letter list of demands people post in replies to Isabelle's tweets, here's what what would personally make me hop on the little dodo's plane back to my island.

Cooking

I've never met a cooking minigame I didn't like. Whether it's Link's little wok shimmy in Breath of the Wild or timing-based like Genshin Impact, I love how each game works a cooking mechanic into their broader vision. New Horizon's Thanksgiving event had us grow pumpkins and collect ingredients for a visiting gourmet chef; it'd be a nice (if extensive) addition to let players collect cooking recipes and play MasterChef.

Eating

Following on from cooking, this is fairly self-explanatory. ACNH already lets you eat fruit, granting you temporary super-strength to smash rocks and dig up tree stumps. But what if I want to eat for fun and leisure? Why is my productivity the be all and end all for my consumption? I'm supposed to be on holiday!

Sometimes my villagers will sit themselves down with a little sandwich or icy pole. I think I also deserve a small treat!

Letting my character and the other inhabitants eat whatever they like could potentially open up new ways to play with your friends, or new games during seasonal events. Still, if it doesn't happen, I can always boot up Pokemon Stadium 64.

GIF of the Lickitung sushi train minigame in Pokémon Stadium 64.
you may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like

Bobby from Queer Eye

Now, I don't mean I want Bobby specifically. New Horizons has a fortnightly calendar of rotating NPCs who provide different services; buying bugs or fish at a premium, selling exclusive carpets and wallpapers, or rewarding players with furniture recipes. The game also "ranks" the interior design of your house once a week, but it comes in the mail from an anonymous board. I think it would be fun to have a new character who suggests changes, or could even automate furniture placement according to theme. What kind of animal would Bobby be?

(really though he did give people interior decorating advice lol)

More (and Better) Music

This one is a bit mean-spirited, but I feel it needs to be said. The music in New Horizons perfectly captures its breezy island vibe... and not much else. With different tracks on the hour as with previous installments, ACNH relies on irritating, repetitive remixes of the main theme. It all blends together into guitar-ukulele-bass-jazz organ mush. It's fine.

It also suffers from a mix which doesn't hold up through either the built-in Switch speaker or average earphones. Bad luck for players with a Switch Lite, because they can't hear half the instruments without a TV. Compare the OST for Octopath Traveler, which doesn't lose any depth of sound in even its most stripped-back tracks.

And while it's a matter of the series taking a different artistic direction, I miss how funny a lot of the music in the original Gamecube release is, with its midi horns, synth pitch bends and barking. This embodies "i am up too late at night and going a little bit crazy, also if my parents find me I will be murdered":

Engaging Dialogue

Animal Crossing is a game for children. In an age of Disney removing sharp edges from art with its copyright all-ages sandpaper, it's important to remember that some things are—and should—be specifically and responsibly made just for kids.

But I think even if I was a child, I would still be losing interest in chatting with my village buddies as I have now. There's only so many times Isabelle can tell me there's no news, a villager can tell me the same anecdote about its parents, or Blathers says the museum already has the dinosaur fossil I've dug up.

Tweet from Rob Heiret. "During the localisation of Animal Crossing New Horizons, we joked repeatedly that we were building the next 5-10 years' worth of memes. We knew the game would be big, but we obviously couldn't have imagined the real-world circumstances of its release.

Rob's thread is a great read for anyone interested in game development, or responsible commercial writing with concerns for a young audience. It also specifically answers why New Horizons isn't as aggressive as previous entries—and maybe that's okay. I still wish there was more to it though. I want my little island to feel more alive.

A tweet from me: "Two fixes needed in Animal Crossing: 1, golden tools shouldn't break, 2, add 'gentle kiss on the forehead' emote". A tweet from Grace Bruxner: "sometimes i am an N P C"

Finally...

BUG REPELLANT

GIF of an animal crossing character leaping over a river to escape a tarantula.
ohhhh my god please I just don't want to see a big spider ever again
Tweet from me. "Living my Animal Crossing magical girl best life." My character has a big frilly pink dress and is covered in ribbons.